January Wasn’t Easy..

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January has not been easy at all!! and i’m not just talking about my lifestyle change. December was the beginning of my change. it was a little bit of a struggle but towards the end it became a breeze. between November 28th and December 28th i lost 12lbs. Then here comes good ole January, a new year, new beginnings, all that stuff thats supposed to bring goodness and hope…. CHYEA right! The first 7 days werent so bad.. i was staying on routine, keeping things in control then BAM! it hits… my youngest son gets the stomach virus! had it for awhile. Started on a Weds by Monday he was okay, but by then my oldest got it and so did I! so there i was, “crippled” for a week. On top of the stomach virus i had to deal with that wonderful Mother Nature -.-  anyways by Friday we seemed to be okay, Made plans to dodge out of town on Saturday so we could get a full day of fun in on Sunday. Headed to Atlanta to go to the Zoo down there and to eat at the Midevil Times place, which by the way was AMAZING!!  Well when we got to the Zoo we were all excited, my little one ended up falling on the ground and getting a hole in his jeans, which he n I were equally upset about. All he wanted to do was run to the Panda’s. I had shown him the live feed of the Panda’s on my phone early that morning before we left. Soooo exciting! We all had a blast! from there we went to the Midevil Times, when we got there we got in line right away so we could be in front. while we were in line Daddy was holding my little one and noticed that he was really hot. thinking that it was bc he had his jacket on in a hot place we just got his jacket off. Little man asked “why are we at the castle?” , we told him, “we are going to eat with the king”  he just started crying and said he didnt want to eat at the castle with the king. i knew something wasnt right. my boo loves adventures and he loves to eat out. we got inside the lobby and sat down. i noticed his eyes were all icky looking, felt his head, sure enough he had a fever! thank god for some reason i went into the medicine cabinet before we left the day before and grabbed motrin. we medicated him and he later felt better and had so much fun. the next day the fever was not gone and wouldnt stay away. took him to the ER and sure enough, i KNEW IT! he had type A and Swine flu, they tested him and called me that night after we got home and said he was positive for the two. i just cried. Battled this stinking flu for a week!! 5 straight days of FEVER in a 4yr old. i wouldnt leave his side. i didnt go walking, i didnt do anything without him. my baby needed me. well he went back to school the next monday, days were off n on bc of the weather but i tried to get as much walking done as possible. Stepped on the scale yesterday and i hadnt lost a lb! 😦 thats when it sank it even more… STRESS!! all month long ive been taking care of everyone else and putting myself last, thats what i do. but when i stepped on that scale and saw “ZERO PROGRESS FOR JANUARY AMBERLEE” i wanted to cry. in fact, i just might! i guess im just having a weak moment, i know i’ll get over it. it just really sucks when you try so hard and get nowhere. how life just wont stop so you can catch up. on top of the stress from my health and progress, theres always other stuff “stressing” me out. it usually doesnt feel like such a big problem but i guess with everything else on top of it, i just feel like im at the end of my road. after dropping the kids off this morning i went and walked 6miles. i walked until my back hurt. thats another thing, im worried that too much walking is going to cause a flare up in my back 😦 im so nervous about everything. the eating thing i have down, pretty well. although i still shouldve lost weight in January. I let myself down and i … i just dont know what to do. I know i am throwing myself back into it, i pray that my children and I stay healthy and germ free. i need to push myself harder and thats what i am going to do! Really hoping that this mood goes away soon!! i cant stand being like this, this is NOT my style!! -.- 

pray for me yall… lord knows i need it .. i do have a tiny drop of hope left and thats all it takes..

-.- meh!!!

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