The Untold Story, my side anyway

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So today while i was chowing on this pack of Smiley Face Fruit Snacks i thought to myself.. “why is this guy smiling when i am about to eat him? he’s doomed,  and not only am i gonna eat him, he’s ORANGE. thats like the most hated color fruit snack, candy, etc. there is…yet hes smiling, his face is all jacked up looking, not even a normal looking smiley face… but he’s smiling” so i thought it would made a good blog. i could probably make some good points using this Fruit Snack as an example.

 For the record…I know that “he” is not a he… really just a gelatin/sugar thingy that children get hooked on, and adults like me.. nor do i feel sorry for eating him even though he’s smiling at me.

So the story of the fruit snack… the one that im getting from all of this, smiling and damned … is that no matter what is going on, you have to just smile. You gotta TRY to stay positive and just know that things are going to get better as long as you keep trying. i often use the lil saying i made up.. “when you go driving through mud, if you get stuck do you just sit there and be stuck? NO you throw that bad boy in 4×4 and you get the hell outta there” .. life is gonna throw crap at you, at least once in  your time… but you cant just sit around and wait for something to happen. you have to make an effort, when you start trying and keep pushing, eventually something is going to give and you will move, some how .. somewhere.. some way.. all those somes that mean something. 🙂

back to the fruit snack… idk why they made them smile but look at it like this… he knows hes orange, in my opinion the most hated flavor of anything except soda, His face is jacked up…he knows that me or some kid is gonna eat him and they are going to get joy out of sinking their teeth into his smiling, jacked up looking face.. theres no good ending for that guy or any of his friends n family, BUT… he is SMILING!!  

i am so tired of logging onto facebook and seeing so much sadness, all the negative stuff. i know that life is sometimes not the greatest, as you all know i am battling severe morning sickness, but just one day out of 7 has to be positive, you have to try to make some progress…

honestly i woke up this morning nervous as usual, not knowing what kind of day this was going to be. with my morning sickness i never know what the day is going to bring. but i knew that i had crap i had to do. i had to watch a little boy for a few hours and manage to stay awake while he was here, i really needed to do some chores, when my boo got out of school i knew that i had to go to the other side of aiken.. and i wanted to do all of this looking and feeling better. so i got up.. made the boys cinnamon rolls in the waffle maker, i ate two and felt sick, but that didnt stop me, i kept on going, managed to get the boys to school on time, came home and did a few small chores, ran my errands, got groceries, cooked dinner, ate n now im chillin in bed with my queezy stomach and a headache. but you know what…i whipped Monday’s ass!! even though the day is ending the way id hoped it wouldnt, me in the bed not feeling that great … i made some serious progress today and i am PROUD! some progress is better then none and i love it!! 

moral of this rant: SMILE and just KEEP TRYING no matter what!!! dont give up on yourself 🙂 yuup… im feeling motivational today:-P

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hello week 10

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So I realized this morning that the past 6 weeks have flown by. it didnt seem like it at the time but now it does. i have had the worst morning sickness, all i do is lay in bed, sleep and lay in bed some more. i am beyond ready for this first trimester to be over with!! other people say “dont rush it” “your gonna miss it” and blah blah blah just really piss me off. it’s not like im saying “come on baby momma wants her body back” nope.. thats not what im saying at all, what i am saying is that i NEED to be able to do my chores, clean my house, cook dinner, dishes, laundry, all of that stuff doesnt just stop because i cant seem to move out of the bed half the time without barfing. i just want my energy back, i dont want to have to take pills 3-4 times a day that make me so drowsy that i cant stay awake. i just want the good part of the pregnancy to start. thats all. not too much to ask and if im gonna be judged on that then people can kiss my ass bc they arent the ones dealing with it. and just for the record, this was not a planned pregnancy. i am happy about it .. very excited, i just am ready for the second trimester to start. the first is so over rated.
Anyways… so yeah… ive been misserable.. and on top of fighting the sickness we lost a very special cat last week. so heartbreaking!! its infuriating! the cat the vicious dogs attacked couldnt climb trees, he was too fat, i shouldve made him come in that morning before i left. guilt that i will carry for god knows how long. hormonal hurricane doesnt begin to describe how i am anymore..
dont get me wrong, i have had a few good days where i am productive, i feel normal and i can get out of the house and enjoy myself. but those days are rare. mostly i just enjoy the company of my loved ones in my bed 🙂
In the weeks to come, very soon… the sickness is supposed to start to ease off, im praying this happens sooner then later. ALSO… EVERYONE pray for me… i need this baby to be a girl… i need one girl in my house!! i have boys, they are awesome and i love having boys, but i desperately want a girl. i dont want to go through this again so i really would like this to be my last pregnancy… so i ask that everyone pray for me!!!

until next time…

prego update

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so before this i was all exercise and nutrition.. well now that im here there isnt a whole lot of the exercising going on. my nausea is getting worse, or so it seems. there is a list a mile long of crap i can eat or drink. the last 4 days have seemed like the worst days of my life!!  Today i threw up 4 times before noon! i havent been doing  a  lot of actual throwing up, it’s been mostly extreme nausea but today i topped the charts! 

i cant drink milk, i cant eat anything sweet…. AT ALL .. i tried a tiny piece of chocolate cake saturday and i threw it up. this morning i at a tiny piece of a pop tart that my nephew was eating…. nope .. it didnt stay down either, even that tiny of a piece!

for lunch i wanted to come home and grill a steak! i dont want small food, i want entire meals! not like the quantity i just want that kind of food. i cant eat sandwhiches, or hot dogs, both i would love to eat. i cant seem to eat anything that will actually fill me up!! im eating plenty of veggies and fruit… trying to drink water. i am scared half the time to eat or drink. i feel like i have to eat sooo much. if my belly growls, i get sick.  i am having so much trouble it seems like.  this is my third child and i feel like it’s my first!! -.- 

if anyone has any kind of advice… PLEASE let me know!!