since i started to show, early in my pregnancy, ive become a little obsessed with my weight and size/shape. every pregnancy is different. when i was prego my first time it was horrible, i had acne worse then ever, i was huge and pale, i didnt have a good diet at all, so it made for a very unattractive prego beast! my second time around, it was amazing, i could still wear normal clothes all through my pregnancy, and i didnt get wide at all, i got a big booty and all the goodies your supposed to get but i didnt look prego from behind, you didnt know until i turned to the side. THIS TIME around… i showed as soon as i peed on that stick, or so it seems that way. before i got pregnant this time around, i was trying to get back in shape from the weight i had gained after the passed year i had. i dropped about 20lbs then found out i was preggers not good timing at all apparently bc my body/ muscles hadnt built back up.
i am 7 months pregnant and i look like im about to give birth any day now!! its so frustrating to me and i know it’s time to get over it but it’s really hard to just let something like this go when i have to look at myself in the mirror every day, im the one putting all of this body into clothing and im the one listening to people say “you havent had that baby yet?” shit gets old.
BUT!! i do have to remember, i am eating like im supposed to, and im doing things the RIGHT WAY, unlike some other mothers. im not depriving my child of vitamins, im not walking around looking pale due to my poor nutrition AND i have had two other children. i try to keep that in mind but you know how us women are… tough to focus on the facts all the time, unless we’re calling someone else out, then it’s pretty easy.
i need to focus and just know that my doctor and i are in control. my doctor says everything is fine and constantly rolls her eyes at me when i complain about my size, every time i see her. and the fact that i wont have this precious baby inside my belly in just a few months. i really need to enjoy this while it lasts. its so much harder this time around as far as my size goes. BUT i am one of the lucky ones in the world, so many women out there cant carry a child… focus… focus…
i am just a big pile of GROUCH today!