Time to get over it!

all-pregnancy-symptoms-585

 

since i started to show, early in my pregnancy, ive become a little obsessed with my weight and size/shape.  every pregnancy is different. when i was prego my first time it was horrible, i had acne worse then ever, i was huge and pale, i didnt have a good diet at all, so it made for a very unattractive prego beast!  my second time around, it was amazing, i could still wear normal clothes all through my pregnancy, and i didnt get wide at all, i got a big booty and all the goodies your supposed to get but i didnt look prego from behind, you didnt know until i turned to the side. THIS TIME around… i showed as soon as i peed on that stick, or so it seems that way. before i got pregnant this time around, i was trying to get back in shape from the weight i had gained after the passed year i had. i dropped about 20lbs then found out i was preggers :/ not good timing at all apparently bc my body/ muscles hadnt built back up.

i am 7 months pregnant and i look like im about to give birth any day now!! its so frustrating to me and i know it’s time to get over it but it’s really hard to just let something like this go when i have to look at myself in the mirror every day, im the one putting all of this body into clothing and im the one listening to people say “you havent had that baby yet?” shit gets old.

BUT!! i do have to remember, i am eating like im supposed to, and im doing things the RIGHT WAY, unlike some other mothers. im not depriving my child of vitamins, im not walking around looking pale due to my poor nutrition AND i have had two other children. i try to keep that in mind but you know how us women are… tough to focus on the facts all the time, unless we’re calling someone else out, then it’s pretty easy.

i need to focus and just know that my doctor and i are in control. my doctor says everything is fine and constantly rolls her eyes at me when i complain about my size, every time i see her. and the fact that i wont have this precious baby inside my belly in just a few months. i really need to enjoy this while it lasts. its so much harder this time around as far as my size goes. BUT i am one of the lucky ones in the world, so many women out there cant carry a child… focus… focus…

 

i am just a big pile of GROUCH today!

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hormone control?!? PLEASE!

Drawing of a pregnant elephant

 

so these hormones are working over time tonight. went to dinner with my love, i wanted zaxby’s so we stopped there before heading home, well convo led to us talking about a subject that really gets me worked up and stressed out. i feel like this baby is going to come tomorrow or something. theres so much to do around this house before then and i really need help doing it. instead of doing all this crap around here id like to be packing like i planned. i really wanted to be in a bigger place before Oliver came but i just dont see that happening and of course i feel like im the only one worried about anything around here. my mind is on over drive and the rest of the world is moving slow as shit and it’s driving me nuts. i am not a patient person and im really not one when im pregnant! all of these hormones and emotions going throught this body on a daily basis is getting to be a lot on me. it’s harder to control everything. i thinnk my head might spin!

so not only do i worry about having room and having everything we need for the baby but im worried about this baby shower. i didnt think that many people would even say they were coming, everyone has kids and i had to make a post today about being too many people and the kids may have to play outside for awhile, and/or find a babysitter or bring someone with them to watch them. i felt so frickn bad for making that announcement bc i know some people cant help but to bring their kids and i really want the kids to color these little paper onsies that i printed out, i want to make a shower book type thing and i want to put them all in there for when Oliver is older he can look back at them and see what the kids drew for him. i think it would be super cute and awesome for he and i, as well as his brothers to look back on all that. i didnt get to do any of this with my other two so i really want to make the most of this one.

if this is my last pregnancy i want to make the most of it. im already bigger then i have ever been before so i really want to be happy for the rest of the pregnancy. i realized this is my last week in my second trimester and that is fuckin with me too. i dont want my second to be over.. the third is missery all the way!! i am just one hormonal hot mess tonight and i really hope it passes soon. on the good note, it fueled me to fold and put some laundry away awhile ago, then i protested that i wasnt doing shit else tonight so here i am laying in my bed typing a million miles a min on my laptop… trying to just vent to this blog entry so that maybe i will feel better. but i know theres nothing anyone can say that could make me feel better at this moment. ive just got to ride it out :/ oh the joys!!

long time no blog..

#big #belly #mama #preggers

A post shared by Amberlee (@ambleesunshine) on

So i realize it’s been a HOT MINUTE since i blogged. i looked and i was like “omg… so much as happened since my last one” dealing with AT&T internet has been a struggle and that alone should explain why i havent been blogging much. it’s horrible. i cant wait to move to a new location where we can have REAL internet … not this crap. anyways enough about that…

 So we found out that we are having another boy! i am now 6months along and my morning sickness is GONE!! it has been gone for a little bit now, thank goodness. that was rough. but now im huge, ive gained weight on my sides, and out front. fitting into clothing is not fun! if i could get these sides to go down i will be a lot happier! so thats really the only struggle i have. heartburn is starting to kick in, thats always fun…  Tomorrow i go to see my little man again! last visit he didnt want to move his arm  to let the doctor measure everything she needed to so we had to make another appointment to do it all again 🙂 doesnt bother me though bc thats more pictures i get of him and more i get to see. i still have awhile so getting anxious this early will just tear my nerves up.. but i really cant wait. i hate that i wont be in my new house when he’s born, i really wanted to be getting a nursery ready right now but instead we have the corner of my room set up for him. i repainted his cradle, and i think im going to pain the changing table the same color, they said it was expresso but it’s not, it’s cherry and it annoys me bc of the tint of redish pink.. simple things just get me going.. mom came and hung up a closet organizing kit for me above his changing table so i can hang his clothes up and put his stuff up there in his little baskets 🙂 im really so excited about this. i was obsessed with the name Oliver from the time i saw it, a lot of other people didnt like it but we settled on it 🙂 his middle name he is getting from my dad, Oliver Gene! he’s going to be amazing and i can not wait to meet him.  

planning the shower has been stressful for me bc everyone knows how much i worry and how far i go to make things happen. i think things are coming together finally. i really cant wait for it all to come together. 

anyways i have to get in bed… tomorrow is an early start!! ❤