so these hormones are working over time tonight. went to dinner with my love, i wanted zaxby’s so we stopped there before heading home, well convo led to us talking about a subject that really gets me worked up and stressed out. i feel like this baby is going to come tomorrow or something. theres so much to do around this house before then and i really need help doing it. instead of doing all this crap around here id like to be packing like i planned. i really wanted to be in a bigger place before Oliver came but i just dont see that happening and of course i feel like im the only one worried about anything around here. my mind is on over drive and the rest of the world is moving slow as shit and it’s driving me nuts. i am not a patient person and im really not one when im pregnant! all of these hormones and emotions going throught this body on a daily basis is getting to be a lot on me. it’s harder to control everything. i thinnk my head might spin!
so not only do i worry about having room and having everything we need for the baby but im worried about this baby shower. i didnt think that many people would even say they were coming, everyone has kids and i had to make a post today about being too many people and the kids may have to play outside for awhile, and/or find a babysitter or bring someone with them to watch them. i felt so frickn bad for making that announcement bc i know some people cant help but to bring their kids and i really want the kids to color these little paper onsies that i printed out, i want to make a shower book type thing and i want to put them all in there for when Oliver is older he can look back at them and see what the kids drew for him. i think it would be super cute and awesome for he and i, as well as his brothers to look back on all that. i didnt get to do any of this with my other two so i really want to make the most of this one.
if this is my last pregnancy i want to make the most of it. im already bigger then i have ever been before so i really want to be happy for the rest of the pregnancy. i realized this is my last week in my second trimester and that is fuckin with me too. i dont want my second to be over.. the third is missery all the way!! i am just one hormonal hot mess tonight and i really hope it passes soon. on the good note, it fueled me to fold and put some laundry away awhile ago, then i protested that i wasnt doing shit else tonight so here i am laying in my bed typing a million miles a min on my laptop… trying to just vent to this blog entry so that maybe i will feel better. but i know theres nothing anyone can say that could make me feel better at this moment. ive just got to ride it out oh the joys!!